What happens when success costs you your identity? Dr. Joel Tubman (author of "The Fight to Find Yourself") and I have the most raw conversation about pretending, grief, and the dangerous cost of not knowing who you really are. Dr. Joel opens up about losing his son, battling suicidal thoughts, and realizing he'd been performing his entire life. I share my story of pretending in relationships and how grief led me down a destructive path. This is about the REAL work of finding yourself—and why therapy isn't optional. Mentioned In Today's Show: 📖 Get Dr. Joel's Book, "The Fight to Find Yourself": https://amzn.to/3WPyHv6 🧠 Get Therapy Support: https://www.BetterHelp.com/AO (20% off first sessions) ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS: 00:36 - Why We Pretend & "Fake It Till You Make It" 04:02 - You Can Be Successful But Still Lost 05:00 - My Story: Pretending to Please People 08:02 - "I Don't Know Who I Am" - Breaking Down 10:45 - You Cannot Give What You Don't Know 14:06 - Giving Yourself to the Wrong People 18:01 - How to Do the Work: Therapy & Community 22:15 - Parent Trauma & Your Adult Relationships 25:16 - Holding My Father's Hand Before He Died 34:38 - Losing His Son: The Cost of Grief 39:00 - My Engagement Story: Using People to Cover Pain 44:27 - Suicidal Thoughts & Losing a Friend 46:13 - Dr. Joel's Suicide Survival Story 49:26 - Checking on Your Circle: "Are You Good?" 54:19 - Why This Book Is Different ABOUT ANTHONY ONEAL: Anthony O'Neal is a nationally bestselling author, speaker, and host of The Table with Anthony O'Neal. He holds a Bachelor of Science in Finance & Banking and is a professor of Consumer Economics at Virginia Union University. Since 2014, he's helped millions of people get out of debt, build wealth, and break generational poverty. His mission is to help you maximize your income, eliminate debt, and create a life of freedom and legacy. 📅 BOOK ANTHONY TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT: bookings@anthonyoneal.com 🤝 SPONSOR THE TABLE PODCAST: partnerships@anthonyoneal.com Connect With Anthony: 👉 Website: https://www.anthonyoneal.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anthonyoneal 🎵 TikTok: @_anthonyoneal FREE TOOLS & RESOURCES: 📊 Budgeting & Wealth Tracker: https://www.anthonyoneal.com/wealthbudget 🧠 Book a FREE 15-Minute Financial Plan: https://www.anthonyoneal.com/getmyplan 📞 Call In & Be On The Show: (771)-224-8131 TRUSTED PARTNERS: These tools help you win with money: - SoFi High-Yield Savings (Earn 4.6% APY): https://anthonyoneal.com/savings - Dovly (Credit repair made simple): https://www.anthonyoneal.com/dovly - Kikoff (Build credit the smart way): https://www.anthonyoneal.com/kikoff - MooMoo (Start investing + get 5 FREE stocks): https://www.anthonyoneal.com/moomoo - Ethos Life Insurance (Term life in minutes): https://link.anthonyoneal.com/ethos - BetterHelp (Affordable online therapy): https://link.anthonyoneal.com/betterhelp Affiliate Disclaimer: Some links are affiliate links, meaning I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Many offer special discounts for my community! ⚠️ GENERAL DISCLAIMER This content is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed financial advisor. Please do your own research and consult a certified professional before making financial decisions.