Heather Havrilesky is the author of the book Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage. She’s also the writer behind the advice columns “Ask Polly,” and “Ask Molly,” which is written by Polly’s mischievous alterego. In this episode, Heather and Chris navigate how to showcase your whole self – even if it means embracing the messy parts – and how leaning into contradictions can make you happier and healthier. They also discuss how most people’s twenties are a disaster, how to write in a way that feels true, and why it’s necessary to laugh at your own ridiculousness. This is an episode of TED's How to Be a Better Human podcast. Listen on your favorite podcast app: https://tedtalks.social/4gmAZt3 For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscripts Join us in person at a TED conference: https://tedtalks.social/events Become a TED Member to support our mission: https://ted.com/membership Subscribe to a TED newsletter: https://ted.com/newsletters Follow TED! X: https://www.twitter.com/TEDTalks Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ted Facebook: https://facebook.com/TED LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/ted-conferences TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tedtoks The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world's leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit https://TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more. Watch more: https://go.ted.com/BHTranscripts https://youtu.be/jHRoBLZ0GMw TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com #TED #HowToBeABetterHuman #podcast