A few weeks after a marriage falls apart, a lot of people land on the same quiet, disorienting thought: nothing about my life looks the way I thought it would, and I don't really recognize myself. Dr. Becky sits down with writer Belle Burden to unpack what happens when a 20 year marriage ends in the span of 12 hours, and why the "good girl" identity so many of us carry can quietly cost us our own instincts. They also cover fault and blame as unhelpful frameworks after a breakup, how kids pick up on far more than we give them credit for, and the surprising relief of shifting the spotlight from your partner's choices to your own. Chapters 0:00 – Intro: when the good girl identity breaks down 1:39 – The voicemail that ended a 20 year marriage 9:03 – Fault, blame, and shifting the spotlight to yourself 25:16 – Why kids always know more than we think 34:26 – Three things you can do today Watch Next 🎥 More episodes of Good Inside with Dr. Becky: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwAl8xqXL90&list=PL5PQdZxg7tKvM8rSVslHIEWM8zFsD20JD Dr. Becky wrote up her thoughts on how to get the "good girl" tendency out of your own emotional driver's seat: https://www.goodinside.com/blog/?utm_source=podcast_gi&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=traffic_evergreen_podcast&utm_content=podcast_20260721_burden Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible: Girl Scouts: If you have a daughter in kindergarten through 12th grade, visit girlscouts.org to learn more LMNT: Get a free gift with your purchase at drinkLMNT.com/goodinside Pampers Easy Ups: Start your potty training journey with Peppa Pig Pampers Easy Ups Little Spoon: Get 50% off your first order at littlespoon.com/rattled with code RATTLED #goodinside #drbecky #peoplepleasing #infidelity #divorce #parenting