Sarah entered college with almost no religious background, hoping to find community and deepen her newfound Christian faith, only to be drawn into a highly controlling branch of Assemblies of God known as Chi Alpha at Murray State, a Christian Campus Ministry under longtime control of the leader Mark. According to Sarah, the ministry gradually isolated students from family, academics, extracurricular activities, and outside friendships while convincing them that unquestioning obedience was God's will. Members were expected to attend daily prayers, multiple weekly meetings, mission trips, and church services, while every major life decision—from choosing a college major to dating, marriage, and even visiting family—required Mark's approval. Sarah describes how he used fear, guilt, surveillance, and claims of prophetic authority to maintain control, while dismissing concerns by insisting critics were simply attacking God's work. Sarah recounts the lasting emotional damage caused by Mark's manipulation after surviving SA away from campus, but was blamed, forced to deny it happened, and systematically isolated from her friends while others were instructed to spy on her. Things become a lot darker for Sarah when Mark finds out that she became pregnant from the ass*ult. Watch our interview with Kathleen (former director of Chi Alpha): https://youtu.be/aFJx2P6Z50A?si=jOO8RdtsIwLWh8pN Link to the support group: https://xalionsden.com/forum?wtp=categories Chapter Marks 00:00:00 The Campus Ministry Everyone Said Wasn't a Cult 00:02:03 Growing Up Without Religion Made Her the Perfect Target 00:03:17 Sarah’s ChiIdhood 00:05:39 How Chi Alpha Recruited Vulnerable College Freshmen into Assemblies of God 00:08:05 What is Chi Alpha? Meeting the Leader Who Claimed to Hear from God 00:14:52 Why Survivors Stayed Silent for More Than a Decade 00:16:09 Every Minute of Our Lives Was Scheduled and Controlled / Demands Placed On Members 00:22:14 Why Sarah Stayed Even When She Knew Something Was Wrong 00:29:40 Inside the Secret Rules for Dating, Marriage, and Isolation / Living Situation 00:36:35 CW: Ass*ault / Purity Culture 00:37:28 Her Pastor Blamed her After She Was SA’ed 00:44:30 The Pregnancy That Became Another Tool of Control 00:47:17 Pregnancy 00:51:10 CW: CW: Abort*on — Sarah Was Told She Had a Devil Inside Her 00:54:40 The Trauma Was So Severe Sarah Lost Entire Memories 00:56:45 Aftermath 00:58:00 Why Survivors Don't "Just Leave" 01:02:39 Staying On Campus 01:03:30 The Moment She Finally Walked Away 01:06:48 CW: Su*cide 01:10:20 Deprogramming After Years of Spiritual Ab*se 01:13:06 What Brings Sarah Joy Now 01:16:30 Speaking Out So Other Students Don't Suffer in Silence 01:17:30 Linda, Listen 01:20:40 Finding Healing and Helping Other Survivors Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! https://www.youtube.com/@CultstoConsciousnessClips Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! https://cults-to-consciousness-shop.fourthwall.com/en-usd Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness https://www.instagram.com/cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann https://www.instagram.com/sheliseann/ Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ https://www.instagram.com/jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness https://www.tiktok.com/@cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon https://twitter.com/cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.**