Fatherhood isn't about always having the answers. Dr. John Delony joins Dr. Becky to unpack the "utility trap" many dads fall into - feeling valued only when they're fixing, providing, or solving. Dr. Becky talks with bestselling author Dr. John Delony about why so many men equate self-worth with usefulness, and what happens when dads learn to step out of "fix-it mode." John shares personal stories about fatherhood, vulnerability, and learning that presence - not solutions - is what his family actually needed from him. 0:00 Intro — relating to a struggling kid instead of yelling 1:46 John's own father and the inherited "utility" lesson 4:29 The MMA analogy — training pool vs. the ocean 11:40 The utility trap — when a dad's value is fixing 15:18 The "magic words" — what to say instead of solving 15:38 The soccer-team script in action 23:12 Grieving the kid you pictured 29:16 What to do tonight — build your own support network Watch Next: What Boys and Dads Really Need with Richard Reeves - https://youtu.be/DEkOs55vec4 🟡 GET MORE FROM GOOD INSIDE / https://bit.ly/4vBKoV8 #fatherhood #dads #mentalhealth #masculinity #selfworth Get the Good Inside App by Dr. Becky: https://bit.ly/4fSxbzk Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcast. As parents, the mental load is real—to-do lists, doctor’s appointments, sports practices, work events, birthday parties… Should I keep going? If your family is anything like mine, it can feel like there are a thousand things to remember and your brain is running on overdrive. What if I told you there's a way to bring a little more calm and clarity to your chaotic, always-changing family schedule? Meet Skylight Calendar. It’s a central, easy-to-see touchscreen with clear colors, so everyone in your family can stay in the loop. As someone obsessed with efficiency, it almost feels like magic how seamlessly it syncs with all of the calendars you're already using—Google Calendar, Apple Calendar, Outlook, and more. I truly see this tool as your partner in sharing the mental load with your kids AND partner. And because life doesn't stop when you leave the house, Skylight offers a free companion app. You can add or update events, check off to-do lists, and stay in sync with your family no matter where you are. Another great feature: If you're not completely thrilled within 120 days, you can return it for a full refund. Ready to say goodbye to calendar chaos and hello to a more organized and connected family life? Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15-inch Calendars. Just go to skylightcal.com/BECKY for $30 off. This offer expires December 31, 2025. Today’s episode is also brought to you by Great Wolf Lodge. As a mom of three kids, I’m always on the lookout for family adventures that offer something for everyone (including myself!). That’s why Great Wolf Lodge is high on our list of future destinations! They offer a world of fun, all under one roof, including water slides, a lazy river, a massive wave pool, arcade games, mini golf and nightly dance parties! With 23 locations all across North America, and more on the way, chances are there’s a Great Wolf Lodge just a short drive away from you. You can save up to 40% off on any stay at Great Wolf Lodge from now through August 31st when you book at participating lodges. Just visit [GreatWolf.com](http://greatwolf.com/) and enter the promo code “GoodInside” – when you book.