Ever swing between anxious and avoidant with the same person, reaching for them one minute and running the next? That's not you being broken or "too much." In week three of the Breakups by Attachment Style series, Sabrina breaks down disorganized attachment (also called fearful avoidant attachment): the push-pull, hot-and-cold, on-again-off-again pattern that makes you feel like you're losing your mind. Learn what's actually happening in your nervous system, why your relationships keep taking this shape, and why no attachment style ever excuses how someone treats you. Inside: the research on fearful avoidant attachment in adulthood, a real story of dating someone disorganized, and what the path to earned security actually looks like (slower than 90 days, and worth every bit of it). Plus the Tool of the Week, a simple somatic state check-in to start tracking your nervous system today. If you've never fit neatly into anxious or avoidant, this one on attachment theory, nervous system regulation, and breaking the cycle is for you, baby. Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026, "Why Am I Like This?" https://amzn.to/4v1eHWj Get your free workbook and access to the companion course after pre-ordering 'Why Am I Like This?' by filling out the form at the bottom of the page ⁠http://sabrinazohar.com/book If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step https://foundation.sabrinazohar.com/foundation If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself. https://slow.sabrinazohar.com/ Get ad free audio and video: https://sz.supercast.com/ Don't miss a video! Subscribe NOW: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSKQduzS78E6-I9tx0jqjpw?sub_confirmation=1 Support the show by supporting our sponsors: Aura has a great deal for Father’s Day, an exclusive $35-off Carver Mat at⁠ https://on.auraframes.com/SABRINA⁠. Promo Code SABRINA Get 40% off select Lola Blankets products at https://⁠Lolablankets.com⁠ by using code SABRINA at checkout. Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Get 10% off your first month of Betterhelp at https://⁠betterhelp.com/sabrina ⁠Right now, Rythm is offering our listeners 15% off your first month and free shipping at https://⁠RythmHealth.com/SABRINA ⁠ ABOUT SABRINA ZOHAR: Sabrina Zohar is a dynamic entrepreneur, relationship coach, and host of the hit podcast The Sabrina Zohar Show. With over a million followers on both Instagram and TikTok, along with a thriving online community, Sabrina is known for her honest, relatable approach to modern dating, relationships, and self-growth. After launching her sustainable clothing brand SoftWear, Sabrina’s journey took a transformative turn when she began sharing her personal experiences with dating and emotional wellness online. Her real talk quickly resonated, earning her features in outlets like NBC, The LA Times, The Tamron Hall Show and Vogue. Through online courses, one-on-one coaching, and candid conversations, Sabrina empowers her audience to “do the work” and create lasting change in their relationships-with others and themselves. FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar/ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesabrinazoharshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar? Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-sabrina-zohar-show/id1668235178 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2Dsp24A82JkYRXytiA2qRt Website:https://www.sabrinazohar.com/ ============================= Chapters 00:00 Anxious and Avoidant at the Same Time 03:48 What Disorganized Attachment Is 06:36 Why You Can't Predict the Pattern 09:43 On Again Off Again Relationships 13:35 Hot and Cold Relationship Story 18:00 Why You Keep Going Back 21:00 How the Push Pull Cycle Works 25:03 What Causes Disorganized Attachment 28:55 How to Heal Fearful Avoidant 31:26 Somatic Practice to Self Regulate Copyright Notice: This video and my YouTube channel contain dialogue, music, and images that are property of SABRINA ZOHAR. You are authorized to share the video link and channel, and embed this video in your website or others as long as a link back to my Youtube Channel is provided. © SABRINA ZOHAR 2025 Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Hot and Cold in Love: The Real Reason Why | Sabrina Zohar https://youtu.be/JTYQGtUrtRY