Nick Swardson and Simon Rex reminisce about partying with Paris Hilton, Nick’s writing of Malibu’s Most Wanted, and their Comedy Central web series, Typical Rick. Meanwhile, I attempt to cook a meal according to Nick’s insane dietary restrictions. Follow Nick Swardson: https://www.instagram.com/realnickswardson Follow Simon Rex: https://www.instagram.com/simonrex415 This episode is brought to you by DraftKings. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/burning or through my promo code BURNING. SUBSCRIBE so you never miss a video https://bit.ly/3DC1ICg For TOUR DATES: http://www.bertbertbert.com For FULLY LOADED: https://fullyloadedfestival.com For #THEMACHINEMOVIE Updates: TheMachine.Movie For all things BERTY BOY PRODUCTIONS: https://bertyboyproductions.com For MERCH: https://store.bertbertbert.com/ Follow Me! X: http://www.Twitter.com/bertkreischer Facebook: http://www.Facebook.com/BertKreischer Instagram: http://www.Instagram.com/bertkreischer YouTube: http://www.YouTube.com/user/Akreischer TikTok: http://www.TikTok.com/@bertkreischer Threads: https://www.threads.net/@bertkreischer Text Me: https://my.community.com/bertkreischer VEGAN, GLUTEN-FREE MINI THAI PIZZAS and THAI KELP NOODLES Dairy-free Grain-free Citrus and fruit-free Gluten-free Sugar-free No seafood VEGAN GLUTEN-FREE MINI THAI PIZZAS Instructions: 1. Bring a pot of water to a boil 2. Use a box grater to make the cauliflower rice from 1 head cauliflower. 3. Add riced cauliflower to water. Cook for 5 minutes to soften. Then drain in a fine mesh strainer Let cool 5 minutes. 4. Transfer cauliflower rice to a clean dish towel and ring out as much of the excess liquid as possible. Ring until no more water comes out. Set aside. 5. In a large mixing bowl, prepare the flax egg (1½ TBSP flax meal and 4 TBSP water) and let rest 5 minutes. 6. Then add these things to the cauliflower rice: a. ¼ TSP salt b. 3 TBSP vegan parmesan cheese c. 1 TSP oregano d. 1 TSP dried basil e. 3 cloves minced garlic f. 1 TBSP Arrowroot starch 7. Stir with a mixing spoon or your hands to thoroughly combine. 8. Form into small, ½-inch thick discs, pan fry and drain. 9. Top with pre-made peanut sauce (peanut butter, tamari sauce, sriracha, fake sugar, ginger) and vegan cheese. 10. Pop in the oven to melt the cheese. THE THAI KELP NOODLES 1. Drain and rinse the kelp noodles and set aside 2. Saute bell peppers and spinach. Set aside. 3. MAKE THE SAUCE. Combine these ingredients in the blender: a. 1 can organic full-fat coconut milk b. 1/2 cup peanut butter c. 3 tablespoons Swerve artificial sweetener d. 2 tablespoons organic extra-virgin olive oil e. 1 tablespoon cilantro f. 2 cloves crushed garlic g. 1 red pepper h. 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes i. 1 teaspoon salt 4. Combine the noodles, sauce, bell peppers and spinach together. Garnish with cilantro GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (AZ/CO/IA/IL/IN/KS/KY/LA/MD/ME/MI/NJ/OH/OR/PA/TN/VA/VT/WV/WY), (800) 327-5050 or visit gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. Call 1-800-522-4700 (NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org (CT), or visit www.1800gambler.net (WV). 21+ (18+ KY/NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/KY/LA(select parishes)/MA/MD/ME/MI/NJ/NY/OH/PA/TN/VA/VT/WV/WY only. Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). No Sweat: Valid 1 per new customer. Min $5 deposit. No Sweat Bet awarded upon deposit. No Sweat Bet automatically applied to qualifying first bet. Min. $1 bet. First bet after opting-in must lose. Reward issued as 1 Bonus Bet upon first bet settlement and in amount of losing bet. Max. $1,000 Bonus Bet. Void in NH/OR. SGP Insurance: Valid 1 SGP insurance token per customer. Opt in req. Must select token BEFORE placing Same Game Parlay. Min. number of legs req., and max. bet vary by customer cohort. Each leg -300 odds or longer. If only one leg of your same game parlay loses, receive one Bonus Bet based on amount of losing bet. Token expires at conclusion of the last game each day when offered. Rewarded bonus bets expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. Bonus bets must be wagered 1x before any resulting cash winnings can be withdrawn and stake is not included in winnings. Ends 3/17/24 @ 11:59PM ET. See terms at sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 03/17/24 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Nick Swardson, Simon Rex, and Noodle-less Noodles | Something's Burning | S1 E14 #bertkreischer #themachinemovie #comedy #somethingsburning