A survivor of severe chiIdhood ab*se, Sofia May recounts how growing up in a v*olently dysfunctional and narcissistic family left her desperate for love, safety, and validation. After years of trying to earn protection from her parents by suppressing her own needs and identity, she became drawn to Buddhism because its teachings on dissolving the ego and transcending suffer*ng mirrored the self-erasure she had already been conditioned into. Sofia found temporary healing and belonging at the Tibetan Buddhist retreat center Tara Mandala, where the peaceful environment, supportive community, and emphasis on the “sacred feminine” felt like an escape from her traumatic home life. Over time, however, under the thumb of Lama Tsultrim Allione, the teachings and culture slowly encouraged deeper submission, guru worship, and the abandonment of personal boundaries. watch pt 2: https://youtu.be/rQPFsG_hH3k?si=mZSFkxFcvascEzTN Website: sofiamaycomedy.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/sofiamaycomedy/ Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:04:06 CW: CA, Incest, Sofia May's chiIdhood 00:08:10 CW: Attempted Su*cide, Falling into Buddhism 00:16:29 Speaking out about Buddhism 00:21:27 Reasons for joining the Buddhist group 00:31:16 CW: CSA, Lama Tsultrim & the types of Buddhism 00:38:14 From "toilet Buddhism" to religious Buddhism 00:46:46 Complete abandonment and mental collapse 00:55:58 CW: Su*cidal ideation, Further betrayals and isolation 01:02:38 Linda, listen Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! https://www.youtube.com/@CultstoConsciousnessClips Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! https://cults-to-consciousness-shop.fourthwall.com/en-usd Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness https://www.instagram.com/cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann https://www.instagram.com/sheliseann/ Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ https://www.instagram.com/jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness https://www.tiktok.com/@cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon https://twitter.com/cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.**