Dr. Julie Smith believes that some forms of mom guilt serve as a useful signal that a parent's actions are deviating from their personal value system.

“you can have guilt and some of that guilt needs to be listened to because it's your conscience. It's you, you know, it's your value system saying we're drifting away from what matters to us actually.”

Dr. Shefali argues that mothers should distinguish between healthy signals of misalignment and the destructive, internalized guilt that comes from societal pressure.

“how do we differentiate? And you said self-awareness is the key, but what does healthy guilt feel like? And then what does that torturing guilt feel like?”