In this classic session of Where Should We Begin?, she has no boundaries, he’s walled off. And their opposing communication styles cause immediate tension in this explosive session. So much so, that Esther finds herself adding to the chorus of angry voices. There might only be three people in this session, but Esther realizes she needs at least three more chairs for the in-laws whose voices and opinions are always playing in the background of this marriage. Chapters 00:35 When Marriage Expectations Collide 00:56 How Does Unemployment Change a Marriage? 03:13 Is the Marriage Actually Broken? 04:17 Whose Voice Is Running the Marriage? 04:49 Are They Too Boundaried or Not Boundaried Enough? 07:30 What Happens When You Stop Speaking for Each Other? 10:24 Can Respect Start With You? 11:32 When Does Money Become a Trust Problem? 16:13 How Do You Stop an Escalation? 18:21 Who Gets to Tell Your Story? 21:03 What Did His Family Teach Him About Marriage? 22:46 Can One Softer Moment Change the Dance? 24:46 Can You Learn to Parent Yourself? 28:09 Why Does One Pursue While the Other Withdraws? 30:14 What Is She Really Asking For? 30:31 Why Does One Steamroll While the Other Implodes? 32:19 When Does Guilt Become Scorekeeping? 33:55 How Does a Fight Become a Kitchen Sink? 36:56 Why Does Anxiety Feel Like Emasculation? 41:30 Can You Ask for What You Actually Want? 44:14 Whose Shame Is in the Room? 46:46 Can Desire Survive Defensiveness? 50:56 What Would a Real Boundary Change? 55:12 What Happens When the Bedroom Becomes the Battleground? 57:08 What Can They Take From This Fight? About Where Should We Begin?: Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. About Esther Perel: Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or subscribe to her Substack Entre Nous for bonus content.