Get your FREE Break Free from Stress guide - Feel calmer, starting today. Go to https://drchatterjee.com/feelcalmer This episode is brought to you by: LINGO BY ABBOTT: For users in the US and UK, Lingo by Abbott is offering an exclusive 10% off a 4-week plan with the code LIVEMORE10. Just visit https://hellolingo.com/livemore for more information. Terms and conditions apply. DO HEALTH: Join thousands who have already started their Do Health journey. Sign up today. Go to https://dohealth.co/livemore and use code LIVEMORE. What if the relationship you have could actually affect how long you live? In this episode, I’m joined by relationship expert Terry Real to explore why our relationships have such a profound impact on our health, happiness and wellbeing. Terry explains why our nervous systems aren’t built to be alone, why loneliness can be so damaging to our health, and why intimate connection is so important to living a long and healthy life. We also explore why relationships are harder than ever, and why the gap between what we want from our relationships and what we actually have can create so much conflict. Terry and I talk about why we often treat the people we love the worst, and how childhood wounds can cause our “adaptive child” to take over in moments of conflict. He explains how to recognise these patterns, reconnect with our “wise adult” and respond differently. We explore arguments, when to take a break, why trying to be right can damage connection and how to repair a relationship after things have gone wrong. Terry shares practical advice for communicating with compassion, taking responsibility and learning to see your relationship as something you build together. We talk about the difference between individual and relational power, why success in work can sometimes come at the expense of intimacy, and why the qualities that make us successful aren’t always the qualities that help us build a fulfilling personal life. If you’ve ever wondered why relationships can be so difficult, why you behave differently with the people you love, or how stronger relationships could support a healthier life, this conversation will give you plenty to think about. 🌱 Want to feel better and live more? Subscribe for new conversations that could change how you think about your health and your life. Episode Chapters 00:00 Intro 00:20 How Your Relationship Affects Your Health 02:30 Why Are Relationships So Hard? 14:00 How Perfectionism Can Damage Your Relationship 15:05 How Men & Women Are Changing In Relationships 17:15 Why Terry Real’s Approach Gets Results 24:21 Why Compassion Is Essential In Relationships 32:20 How To Change For The Sake Of Your Relationship 38:15 How Childhood Trauma Shapes Your Relationships 49:25 3 Steps To Get What You Want 55:21 Why Your “Adaptive Child” Takes Over During Arguments 01:01:00 What To Do The Next Time You Argue 01:07:05 Understanding The Relationship Dynamic 01:11:37 Why You Need To Stop Trying To Be Right 01:15:05 The Relationship Cycle: How We Get Stuck 01:19:17 How To Repair A Damaged Relationship 01:28:35 How To Find More Connection, Joy & Peace 01:33:13 The Qualities Every Healthy Relationship Needs 01:36:14 Terry Answers Your Questions 01:41:07 How Do You Know When A Relationship Is Over? 01:45:11 Terry’s Final Advice #feelbetterlivemore Find out more about Terry: Website https://terryreal.com/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/realterryreal/?hl=en Facebook https://www.facebook.com/TerryRealRLI/ X https://x.com/terryreal YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@realterryreal Terry’s books: Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship UK https://link.amazon/B03Ijg3VI US https://amzn.to/4xkHvZF #feelbetterlivemore #feelbetterlivemorepodcast ------- The Thrive Tour: Transform Your Health and Happiness, a live show: Book Your Tickets https://drchatterjee.com/live ----- Follow Dr Chatterjee at: Website: https://drchatterjee.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drchatterjee Twitter: https://twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drchatterjee/ Newsletter: https://drchatterjee.com/subscription DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.