Liz Dieatrick grew up in an intensely fundamentalist Assemblies of God household, where she was told from chiIdhood that God had uniquely called her to become a missionary. Raised by a pastor father and a deeply controlling, highly religious mother, she developed crippling religious scrupulosity, suppressed her own identity, and built her entire sense of purpose around sacrificial service to God. After studying missions in college, surviving life-threatening illnesses on overseas mission trips, and enduring the public scandal of her father's arrest in a s*x sting, she interpreted every hardship as confirmation that she was faithfully following God's plan rather than questioning the system that shaped her. Liz recounts her years with Live Dead, an Assemblies of God missions movement focused on reaching "unreached people groups" in restricted countries, the intensive security training for k*dnappings and interrogations, pressure to deceive governments about missionary work, and an organizational culture that glorified self-sacrifice while minimizing personal autonomy. Looking back, Liz identifies numerous red flags she overlooked at the time, and reflects on her su*cide attempt, trauma therapy, rebuilding her identity, and the possibility that this interview could permanently alter her relationship with her parents. Find and support Liz! YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@formerfundie/ Chapter Marks 00:00:00 — Intro - Raised to Become a Missionary Before Birth 00:03:21 — Liz’s ChiIdhood 00:07:10 — Fear, Hell, and Religious OCD as a ChiId 00:14:40 — Discovering the “Live Dead” Mission Movement / Adolescence 00:18:24 — Mission trips 00:21:10 — Surviving Near-Death Mission Trips 00:23:50 — Post college 00:25:30 — Her Pastor Father's S*x Sting Scandal & Arrest 00:32:35 — The Training That Felt Like a Military Operation 00:35:20 — What "Live Dead" Really Meant 00:42:40 — Life as an Underground Missionary in India / Making Friends to Secretly Plant Churches 00:45:50 — What Lead to Liz Leaving Live Dead 00:49:15 — The Moment Her Faith Began to Crack / When the Red Flags Became Impossible to Ignore 00:53:53 — CW: Su*cide Attempt That Changed Everything 00:56:45 — Therapy Uncovered Years of Religious Trauma / Losing Her Identity and Questioning Everything / Deconstruction 01:00:15 — “Who Am I Without Being a Missionary?” 01:03:00 — Leaving the Mission and Rebuilding Her Life / Grieving the Life Religion Took From Her 01:06:00 — Why Her Parents Still Don't Know She Left the Faith 01:07:30 — “This Interview Could End My Relationship With My Family” 01:10:00 — Living With Autism Inside a High-Control Religion 01:13:30 — What Healing and Freedom Look Like Today 01:16:30 — Final Reflections on Leaving Live Dead Behind 01:19:01 — Linda, Listen Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! https://www.youtube.com/@CultstoConsciousnessClips Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! https://cults-to-consciousness-shop.fourthwall.com/en-usd Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness https://www.instagram.com/cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann https://www.instagram.com/sheliseann/ Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ https://www.instagram.com/jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness https://www.tiktok.com/@cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon https://twitter.com/cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.**