Ready to begin or deepen your meditation practice? Join Dan Harris and world-class meditation teachers on the 10% with Dan Harris app here: https://app.danharris.com/membership Dan used to gleefully dismiss the "inner child" as therapy nonsense. He's had to walk it back. Today's guest — a working psychoanalyst — argues that the child you once were is not just a metaphor but an active self-state that's grabbing the steering wheel of your adult relationships, often without you noticing. This is a rich, substantive, and (Dan warns) personally exposing conversation. Dr. Galit Atlas is a psychoanalyst and the author of a new book called Come Closer, in which she argues that the key to your adult relationships is the child you once were. Her previous book, Emotional Inheritance, was about how trauma is passed down between generations. In this episode: – Is the inner child actually just therapy nonsense? (Answer: no, and here's why) – "If it's hysterical, it's historical" – Insight vs. tools — why you need both (Dan brings a very 1980s peanut butter cup analogy) – The six inner-child archetypes: – The Frightened Child — parents scary, scared, or both – The Melancholic Child — preoccupied with loss and separation – The Ashamed Child — "I am bad" – The Guilty Child — "I am too much" (afraid of bigness, and their own power) – The Invisible Child — "I master disappearing" – The Chosen Child — enmeshed with one parent, unable to choose themselves – Most of us are a mix, and it's a spectrum – Marco's story — the guilty child who couldn't figure out why he was having panic attacks – The Scottish psychoanalyst Ronald Fairbairn's line that unlocks a lot of childhood psychology – Dan's own armchair self-diagnosis (and Galit's response to it) – The emotional inheritance — how a parent's fear becomes the child's fear, non-verbally – How to dialogue with the child inside you (starting with your first memory) – Kristin Neff's self-compassion practice as a cousin to what Galit's describing – Melancholic children and the woman who collected garbage — why acceptance is itself a form of change – Why being left is such a primal, evolutionary fear (and even our own leaving triggers it) – "Whose fear is this?" — the go-to question for a hijacked moment – "Follow the blame to find the shame" – Negation — the "I am not…" statements that reveal what someone really is – Jealousy vs. envy — and the defenses envy uses (devaluation and idealization) – A specific practice for the guilty child: express one need you'd normally redirect – The invisible child (which, it turns out, most therapists are) – Why understanding your own inner child leads to compassion for other people's – What's Good — Galit on Miranda July's All Fours, Dan on Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli's The Life of the Buddha Subscribe to watch more 10% Happier videos: https://www.youtube.com/tenpercenthappier Follow Dan Harris on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/danharris/ https://www.tiktok.com/@danbharris https://www.facebook.com/DanHarrisABC https://twitter.com/danbharris https://www.linkedin.com/in/dan-harris-91ba5716b/ #10PercentHappier #GalitAtlas #InnerChild This episode is sponsored by: OSEA: Go to https://OSEAMalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with code HAPPIER. Planet Visionaries: In partnership with The Rolex Perpetual Planet Initiative, listen to or watch Planet Visionaries wherever you get your podcasts. Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://click.cash.app/ui6m/oh9jnxlq #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton debit flex card, and Bancorp debit flex card. Savings provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.