Join us today for a unique Mormon Stories episode that is the first of its kind. Myndee Tollefson was born in Bountiful, Utah to an orthodox Mormon family. At just 19, she became pregnant and, feeling immense pressure from the Church and her family, gave her baby up for adoption through LDS Family Services—only to later discover that her child's life in the adoptive family was not what the Church promised. Topics include: -Toxicity of purity culture -Unplanned pregnancy in Mormonism -Harsh backlash from her family and LDS community -Adoption within the LDS Family services program -The church's role in facilitating and encouraging adoption -Being a "birth mom" -Troubled teen culture within Mormonism Her story sheds light on the emotional and spiritual costs of institutional coercion, and the healing that comes with breaking free from this control.  Show notes can be found on the Mormon Stories blog here: https://www.mormonstories.org/the-mormon-church-made-me-give-up-my-baby/ Timecodes: 00:00:00 Introduction 00:03:01 Myndee’s intention 00:05:44 Myndee’s Mormon story begins - born in Bountiful, Utah 00:12:08 Experienced sexual abuse by someone she was supposed to trust, couldnt tell anyone 00:23:53 Working with LDS church services about her abuse 00:29:30 Her patriarchal blessing made her feel like God didn’t see her 00:38:21 Found out she was pregnant 00:43:12 Telling her parents she was pregnant 00:52:09 An Ensign article with advice on unwed parents framed her decision 01:11:15 Going into worthiness interviews with her boyfriend 01:16:10 Was disfellowshipped 01:27:46 Discussion of LDS family services 01:32:01 What is a closed vs open adoption? 01:43:02 What it was like carrying a baby she knew she would have to give up 01:56:56:47 Her final day with her baby 02:09:56 John discussing why it could be unethical for a church to arrange adoptions 02:12:53 The church quietly stopped doing adoptions in 2014 02:35:06 Myndee and Troy had two daughters together 02:39:10 Troy took an evolution class and decided he believed in evolution 02:44:02 They move to Tampa, Florida for Troy’s job as an animal nutritionist 02:50:59 A close friend of hers left the church, and shared a lot of resources with her 02:58:02 Was contacted by her daughter for the first time in 2016 03:00:47 Going to meet her daughter for the first time 03:06:17 She found out her daughter had been placed in two separate facilities from 10-14 where she was abused 03:14:36 Her daughter was living a life of uncertainty & ran away at 14 years old 03:27:29 The adoptive mother dropped her back at the facility and abandoned her 03:54:05 Struggling to balance the relationships with all of her daughters - she was so focused on helping her oldest 04:01:32 They were estranged from 2018-2020 04:07:35 Began to realize that the church was making her more anxious 04:11:05 Her youngest daughter comes out as queer 04:28:19 Her faith deconstruction has strengthened all the relationships in her family 04:34:10 Call for other birth moms to reach out and share their stories as well ___________________ At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well as scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals. Our overall mission is to: 1. Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology 2. Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis 3. Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions 🤝Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today One-time or recurring donations: https://donorbox.org/mormon-stories?default_interval=m Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories Venmo: https://account.venmo.com/u/mormonstories Paypal: https://paypal.me/mormonstories Join this channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx6OgmoqJbOVRq-Lv1P7SzA/join Our Platforms: 🌐Mormon Stories Blog: https://www.mormonstories.org/episodes 🎙️Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories ✳️Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4sDzk7dRjODTSEqzZKZJzk?si=148b0efc1ccc4404&nd=1 🍎Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mormon-stories-lds/id312094772 🖼️Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mormstories 📱TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mormonstoriespodcast 🎮Discord: https://discord.com/invite/kuX5p6yyjF Contact us: 📧 MormonStories@gmail.com 📬PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117