Check out Hoop and Huddle, YMH Studios' new comedy sports show, hosted by comedians Luke Touma & Nate Marshall. Two friends talking basketball, football, and whatever ruined their weekend. Less "analysts breaks down the tape," more "your boys yelling at the TV." https://www.youtube.com/@HoopandHuddle Become a paid channel member of YMH to get 2 Bears, 1 Cave episodes one day early and AD-FREE here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join SPONSORS: - Thanks to MANSCAPED® for sponsoring today’s episode! Get The Lawn Mower® Ultra Gen 6 for 15% OFF + Free Shipping with code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com! - The DraftKings Sports app is now live in all 50 states! Head to https://dkng.co/bears - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://hims.com/bears - Sign up and get 10% off at https://BetterHelp.com/bears. - Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. Welcome back to the cave! Hunter Biden says he's 48% gay, which raises the only question that matters: what percent are you? Bert and Tom build the math from zero, clothes, dicks, physiques, saunas, eye patches, a $5,000 face laser, and Bert climbs a lot higher than he expected to. Along the way: why Bert can't watch Sophie Cunningham highlights, the uncomfortable truth about loving Jason Williams, John Stockton's total lack of pizzazz, the hunt for a white DB in the NFL, Bert calling his dad mid-episode to check the family for slave owners (Tom's family does not come out clean), Bert's sister telling him to grow up about his sleep anxiety, Ila volunteering to fight Tom's ten-year-old in the Octagon, the 2:30am Dodger Stadium aftermath, a device that grades your poop, and Bert's full-throated defense of the Philadelphia Eagles' male cheerleader. Plus: this week's Mountain Dew summer sizzle submissions, including one that requires $2.6 million of CGI and one that just shuts Bert up. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 339 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com In Partnership with DraftKings. The Crown Is Yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook: Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-426-2537, 1-800-697-3738. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit https://ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in 7 days. Trade to get $50 in Predictions Dollars that expire in 1 year, issued every 7 days via click to claim for 21 days. 1 non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Predictions offer void in New York. Ends July 19th. Terms at https://dkng.co/audio. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:14 - Hunter Biden Says He's 48% Gay 00:06:23 - Clip Farms, Sophie Cunningham, & Jason Williams 00:15:32 - John Stockton, White Boxers & Tim Dwight 00:29:23 - California's Slavery Bill & Bert Calls His Dad 00:34:41 - The Girlfriend, The Sister, & The Fight Challenge 00:42:34 - The Dodgers Game Aftermath & A Whoop For Your Toilet 00:46:11 - Male Cheerleaders, Female Urologists, & Checking Out Men 00:52:38 - Hiding From Lightning With A Grindr Meetup 00:59:05 - Comedian OnlyFans & Ohtani's $17 Million Translator 01:05:44 - Mountain Dew Summer Sizzle Submissions 01:11:34 - Wrap Up