Become a paid channel member of YMH to get 2 Bears, 1 Cave episodes one day early and AD-FREE here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join SPONSORS: - New DraftKings customers, sign up with code BEARS, spend five bucks to get $150 in rewards within 14 days - includes all markets. - Get your free quote at https://ethos.com/BEARS. - Let’s eat real. Head to https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last until 10/31/2026. See website for more details. - Sign up and get 10% off at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Start learning a new language TODAY with Babbel. Right now listeners can save up to 60% off at https://babbel.com/BEARS. - Get out there and enjoy the outdoors with Mountain Dew. An American Original. Tasting Great Since ’48. Look for Mountain Dew in stores near you. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are on separate sides of the country, but still together in our hearts. Tom's about to film a movie and Bert's been running his takes through ChatGPT before he says them out loud, which still doesn't stop LeeAnn and his daughters from destroying him over The Pastor's Wife. Bert explains how Last Comic Standing edited him into the villain, and how much public misrepresentation a person should take before they swing back; Michael Jackson, Shane Gillis, Johnny Depp, Joe Rogan, and Bert's "how many bees until you start swatting" theory. From there, Bert delivers the two greatest analogies of his life, Tom demands the production Bible for Tenet to understand it better, and Bert turns his garage door into a guillotine. They also get into Kyle Forgeard of Nelk Boys running seven marathons in seven days, Bert's daughters hijacking his couples therapy to tell the therapist he only feels emasculated at Lowe's, and Bert's case that Raygun should have won the gold medal and that Jackson Pollock was a shill. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 340 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Gambling Problem? Call 1-800-426-2537, 1-800-697-3738. Connecticut: call 888-789-7777, visit http://ccpg.org. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino in Kansas. Bet tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21+. Void in Canada. Event contract trading with DraftKings Predictions involves risk of loss. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York. Bet to get Bonus bets that expire in 7 days. Trade to get Predictions Dollars that expire in 1 year. $50 in rewards issued every 7 days via click to claim for 14 days. One non-withdrawable reward redeemable. Terms at http://dkng.co/offer. Limited time offer. Nationwide based on Sportsbook, Predictions, and Free-to-Play Sports Contest availability. Varies by State. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:38 - ChatGPT Approved Takes & Death Of The Pastor's Wife 00:07:17 - How Many Bees Until You Start Swatting? + Purple Doritos 00:15:02 - Tom's Movie Beard & Revisiting Tenet 00:28:44 - 365 One-Minute Episodes & Bryson DeChambeau's Hole In One 00:34:08 - Mountain Dew Sizzle 00:38:01 - Football Segue 00:39:19 - Kyle Forgeard's Seven Marathons & Andrew Schulz's Miami Era 00:43:50 - Bert's Tom Impression & Couples Therapy With The Girls 00:51:03 - The Honey Deuce & Bert's Return To Drinking 00:56:16 - What Olympic Sport Could You Actually Get Good At? 01:02:50 - Raygun Deserved The Gold & Jackson Pollock Was A Shill 01:12:15 - Wrap Up