100x your confidence NOW: Radical Confidence, here: https://radicalconfidence.com/ It’s Lisa Bilyeu and I’m PUMPED to share this episode of Women of Impact with you today about something SO important and SO hard to do, and that’s setting AND HOLDING your boundaries! And the amazinggggg woman here to help is the Boundary Boss herself, my homie Terri Cole.! Terri has been on the show a number of times because she is SO DAMN GOOD at empowering women to put toxic people in their place!! And in this episode, she’s sharing soooo many amazing tactics and insights into setting and holding your boundaries AND how to deal with the people in your life and exactly WHAT to say to those who don’t respect your boundaries. We go into: - The 5 categories of boundaries & why you need health boundaries in all of them - Why boundaries are the best BRIDGES in your relationships, NOT BLOCKS!! - How to get away from the manipulator who is exploiting your good heart to get you to stay - Actual word for word Boundary scripts you can use to flip the conversation and power dynamic when someone is blatantly crossing your boundaries - How to deal with someone who repeatedly & purposefully crosses your boundaries - And MUCH MORE! So listen up homie!! Cause your comfort and your feelings frikin’ MATTER, and the ONLY person’s feelings that are YOUR responsibility are YOUR OWN – it’s NOT your responsibility to take care of the feelings of others!!! Chapter Markers: ❌ [00:00] How to effectively set boundaries ❓ [11:21] Handling intrusive questions 🚩 [17:01] Consequences for repeat offenders ❤️ [28:29] Love bombing & controlling relationships 🛑 [33:24] Grand gestures & your gut 🚨 [46:43] Enforcing consequences of your boundaries TERRI’S SIZZLING QUOTES: “If someone is asking you intrusive questions, whether family of origin in particular, can be very much this way, where they're like, why don't you have kids? So why don't you eat wheat? Why don't you eat gluten? What's whatever? Where's the person you brought last year? Or whatever. Whatever the thing is that they're asking you, you gained weight. Like, people will just say the most messed up crap, right? Do not give them the answer. That's the thing, is don't share information about yourself that is close to your most tender heart with someone who you don't want to." "If it's a repeat offender, there's got to be some kind of consequence. And I'm not talking about an ultimatum per se. When we hear the word ultimatum and we're like, does that mean if someone doesn't do what I want, I'm going to end every relationship? It's not that, but there are appropriate consequences for boundary violations." "Another indication of abuse can be someone who's declaring that you're flirting with, like the bus driver when you're not, someone who wants to control what you're wearing. You can't wear that shirt because it shows your belly. You can't wear those pants because it makes you look slutty, quote unquote." "If there's an urgency and you're feeling pressured, that is a red flag to step back, tap the brakes, give yourself space, allow yourself to think. Because a lot of times when someone is wanting to control you, it's almost like there's an overwhelm." "If you're in an abusive relationship, do not tell the person that you're planning on ending the relationship. Just don't, because it could provoke them to violence, which, of course, we wouldn't want." "So a lot of times, the most effective boundary in that situation is to warn the person. And then when things are fine, saying, hey, every time you get to that level of agitation, I'm leaving with the kids or you have to leave, like trying to put physical space, especially if the person feels bad or wants to change or has remorse, right?" Follow Terri Cole: Website: https://www.terricole.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terricole/ Podcast: https://www.terricole.com/podcast/ Follow Me, Lisa Bilyeu: Website: https://www.radicalconfidence.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisabilyeu X: https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu If you want to dive deeper into my content, search through every episode, find specific topics I've covered, and ask me questions. Go to my Dexa page: https://dexa.ai/lisabilyeu Themes: Confidence, Relationships, Business, Mental Health, Self-Improvement