Thank you to today's sponsor: One Skin: Visit https://impacttheory.co/oneskinWOIsept and use code WOI for 15% off to make your skin look, feel, and act younger with OneSkin! If you’re always the one: jumping in to fix things, taking care of everything, and helping everyone with their problems – then my homie, listen up, coz this episode of Women of Impact is for YOU!! Today we're diving into the world of high-functioning co-dependency with none other than my girl, Terry Cole. Terry Cole is a licensed therapist and bestselling author who empowers women to break the cycle of living without boundaries so they can have better boundaries, more effective communication, healthier relationships, and less B.S. in their lives!!! And she is breaking down: - how to actually start building strong personal boundaries - how to spot self-destructive behaviors - recognizing the patterns of high functioning codependency - why getting your validation fix from others is super frikin damaging - understanding the blueprint for prioritizing yourself - the ways you might actually be attracting a narcissistic partner This episode gives you a blueprint for how you thrive – not just survive – within a relationship, including the one that you have with yourself!! And it will help you to take your power back and create a life that is genuinely fulfilling, where you're not actually sacrificing your sake for everybody else. This is the thing that could actually be holding you back from going after that job, that relationship, or anything else in your life – and you don’t even realize it!! CHAPTER MARKERS: 😓 [00:00] Why we tolerate bad behavior 😖 [9:24] High functioning codependency’s effects on physical & mental health ⚖️ [15:08] Balancing codependence with acceptance of help 🗣️ [41:24] Communicating early and lovingly ❌ [58:28] Codependency limits success ❤️‍🩹 [1:07:01] Combating shame and recovering 📝 [1:24:58] Scripts to help set boundaries during emotional moments 🔥 TERRI COLE’S HOT QUOTES: "We see the other person's difficult behavior as something for us to fix, as something for us to twist ourselves up in a pretzel and light ourselves on fire to give them what they need." "And I feel like this can be the same in these types of abusive relationships where we remember back to how beautiful it was when they took us to Paris for four days or, you know, how great the sex was." "Like, how am I codependent and hyper independent? You are, though. You're codependent because you are looking to fulfill and control the other person and do for them and make sure they have. But your hyper independence means that you're blocking it from coming your way." "Early and often we want to be asserting our preferences, our desires, our limits and our deal breakers, which are our boundaries." “A lot of us, as HFCs, have taught people that we have the answers for them and that they should come to us for the answers. So that's something that you want to shift, because the cost of doing that is the depth of intimacy in your relationship." "The more you know about yourself, the healthier you can be, the healthier choices you can make." "Nobody takes advantage of you without your permission." "Much more joy, more harmonious relationships, more equitable relationships, right? Where if you feel like you have to control every aspect of your relationship, it's exhausting. Who's taking care of you? Who's treating you like a delicate flower when you need to be treated that way, even if it's only once in a while, right? There's got to be mutuality." Follow Terri Cole: Website: https://www.terricole.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/terricole/ To preorder Terri’s new book, Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency: https://hfcbook.com/ Learn how to create healthier, more fulfilling relationships from 30+ expert therapists, coaches and thought leaders at The Epic Relationships Online Summit— https://epicrelationshipssummit.com/ Follow Me, Lisa Bilyeu: Website: https://www.radicalconfidence.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisabilyeu X: https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu If you want to dive deeper into my content, search through every episode, find specific topics I've covered, and ask me questions. Go to my Dexa page: https://dexa.ai/lisabilyeu Themes: Confidence, Relationships, Business, Mental Health, Self-Improvement WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!