Content Warning: Mental illness, self-harm, suicide We continue Liz’s journey as she goes to BYU and gets baptized. Liz explains her interactions with church and BYU culture, and the effect of “worthiness” interviews w/LDS leadership once she is an official member. At BYU Liz struggles to fit in with white culture and begins struggling with symptoms of mental illness along with outbursts of creativity. Things get heavy with a friend’s suicide as she battles her own depressive thoughts. iz's Instagram: @lizzylambson Liz's Music & Social Media: https://linktr.ee/lizlambson “Never Too Soon” Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/19Det7TOwDUbhMX8TsKAWT?si=qO5IjEF_RAOKVgjV6GKv7g&context=spotify%3Aartist%3A3EPdWx3kXnBkp6ryf80HBf Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/never-too-soon/1665363749?i=1665363750 YouTube: https://music.apple.com/us/album/never-too-soon/1665363749?i=1665363750 Amazon Music: https://amz.run/6N6t Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:08:20 Academics & Dating at BYU: The “Promised” Land 00:26:20 Baptism in Switzerland: “Best day of my life.” 00:38:20 Working at the Utah Shakespeare Festival, Dad gets remarried. 00:40:45 Dating Stan when he finishes his mission. 00:44:15 Scrupulosity & damaging Bishop interviews 00:52:30 Breaking up w/Stan & other dating woes 01:19:00 “Unworthiness” causes Liz to feel unredeemable & leads to depression, self-harm, suicidal ideation 01:32:00 Managing her bipolar symptoms, OCD, scrupulosity, along with creative bursts 01:51:15 Therapy at BYU 01:56:30 Gay friend comes home & comes out 01:58:00 Liz considers encouragement by a non-LDS musician to leave BYU. 02:03:15 Another difficult bishop. Says “Maybe BYU isn’t the place for you.” 02:05:00 Conversation with gay RM friend when he came out. Mental gymnastics as a sport. 02:10:30 Finding out her gay Mormon friend died by suicide. Feeling jealousy. Episode Show Notes https://www.mormonstories.org/podcast/liz-lambson-musician-artist/ Liz Lambson Playlist | Mormon Stories https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxq5opj6GqOBOplM6QmB4msmLM16plagF ABOUT US: Mormon Stories Podcast is the longest-running and most successful podcast in Mormonism - hosted by Dr. John Dehlin. At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We also occasionally interview scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals. Our overall mission is to: 1) Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology, 2) Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis, and 3) Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions. Mormon Stories Podcast is a product of the Open Stories Foundation - a 501c3 non-profit dedicated to supporting Mormons in religious transition. Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today: One-time or recurring donations: https://donorbox.org/mormon-stories?default_interval=m Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories Amazon Smile: Be sure to select “Mormon Stories” website: https://smile.amazon.com app: https://amz.run/5r2M Our Platforms: Mormon Stories Blog: https://www.mormonstories.org/episodes Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4sDzk7dRjODTSEqzZKZJzk?si=148b0efc1ccc4404 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mormon-stories-lds/id312094772 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mormstories TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mormonstoriespodcast Discord: https://discord.com/invite/kuX5p6yyjF Contact us: MormonStories@gmail.com PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117 #MormonStories