Between attending orthodox services, embarking on an eighteen-month mission, attending Brigham Young University, and marrying into a "royal" family, Heather was the definition of a "good Mormon." However, when the doting wife's husband unexpectedly filed for divorce, she was left out in the cold by her church and her community. In this funny, brash, and unbelievably vulnerable book, Bad Mormon recounts Heather's experiences as a single mother to three girls, navigating life post-divorce and post-Mormonism. Bad Mormon: A Memoir by Heather Gay https://amz.run/6Mk3 00:00:00 Introduction & Real Housewives recap 00:05:55 Why write the book 00:10:03 Heather’s “Mormon CV” 00:15:44 Book Theme: Becoming a working mom and professional 00:17:15 Mormonism was the center of Heather’s universe 00:20:01 Heather thought Mormon garments were normal underwear for everyone 00:21:15 Reading: Heather learns not everyone is or even likes Mormons 00:26:17 Hosanna Shout 00:29:15 Book Theme: Temple rituals & Patriarchal Grip 00:34:10 Baptism & the shame of first sins after 00:40:11 Reading: Story of planning her daughter’s perfect baptism 00:42:30 External rituals fuel internal pressure to meet expectations 00:43:38 Adolescence in Holladay, inappropriate Bishops interviews 00:45:50 Ecclesiastical abuse from Bishop’s persistent questioning over masturbation 00:47:40 High-demand religions teach members to lie & lose themselves 00:53:30 Reading: James Barnes III background to the story, 00:56:30 Personality too big for the men at BYU 00:58:10 Reading: Dinner in the Tree Room 01:00:00 Processing pain through humor 01:01:36 Heather’s only moment feeling like a whole woman 01:04:18 Meets & marries Mormon “royalty” Billy Gay. 01:07:40 Heather feels an equal to Billy until after marriage when status becomes obvious 01:11:03 Heather & Billy betray themselves for church & marriage. 01:15:00 The church rushes young marriage to the detriment of most couples 01:17:40 Big life things force us through our public facades to face the truth 01:19:10 By clinging to those gospel tenants leads us away from our children. 01:19:50 Why she does NOT identify as “Bad Mom” 01:23:22 Being able to give daughters the ability to have the connection to self she lost. 01:25:16 Heather discusses her loss of faith 01:28:58 Finding the strength and courage to respect and share her story 01:31:08 Ready to start deconstructing Mormon history 01:33:33 Heather felt more fake & performative as Mormon housewife than on reality TV show, Real Housewives SLC 01:38:32 “Wickedness” has been absolute happiness for me. 01:40:00 Heather’s legal issues with the Church & Attorney Casey Jones 01:47:55 Church’s fear of bad PR in excommunicating famous people 01:48:30 Giving voices to a silenced community 01:51:00 Real Housewives Update 01:53:00 Reactions 01:54:45 The truth is ALL Mormons are bad Mormons. 01:55:00 Heather hopes Mormon women feel seen when they read this book Episode Show Notes: https://www.mormonstories.org/podcast/bad-mormon-heather-gay/ ABOUT US: Mormon Stories Podcast is the longest-running and most successful podcast in Mormonism - hosted by Dr. John Dehlin. At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We also occasionally interview scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals. Our overall mission is to: 1) Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology, 2) Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis, and 3) Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions. Mormon Stories Podcast is a product of the Open Stories Foundation - a 501c3 non-profit dedicated to supporting Mormons in religious transition. Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today: One-time or recurring donations: https://donorbox.org/mormon-stories?default_interval=m Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories Amazon Smile: Be sure to select “Mormon Stories” website: https://smile.amazon.com app: https://amz.run/5r2M Our Platforms: Mormon Stories Blog: https://www.mormonstories.org/episodes Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/mormonstories Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4sDzk7dRjODTSEqzZKZJzk?si=148b0efc1ccc4404 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mormon-stories-lds/id312094772 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mormstories TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mormonstoriespodcast Discord: https://discord.com/invite/kuX5p6yyjF Contact us: MormonStories@gmail.com PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117 #MormonStories