Start Healing Your Attachment Style & Unlock Your Core Needs. Free for 7 Days + Bonus Course for Life! https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life-free-course?utm_source=youtube&utm_campaign=dream-life-free-course&utm_medium=organic&utm_term=_Hfvfnc-PLw&utm_content=yt-12-13-25&el=youtube When someone you care about suddenly shuts down, pulls away, or insists that “everything is fine”, it can feel confusing, painful, and deeply unsettling. In this episode, Thais Gibson and Mike DiZio unpack what’s actually happening when a Dismissive Avoidant or Fearful Avoidant shuts you out, why pushing for answers often backfires, and how to respond in ways that create safety instead of more distance. If you’ve ever felt stuck between wanting clarity and not wanting to make things worse, this conversation offers practical guidance, emotional relief, and a deeper understanding of avoidant nervous systems. Episode Summary Stonewalling and emotional withdrawal are rarely about punishment or lack of care. More often, they’re driven by fear, shame, overwhelm, and difficulty identifying emotions in real time. In this episode, Thais and Mike draw from both professional expertise and lived experience to explain: Why Avoidant partners often don’t yet know what they feel How fear of vulnerability and conflict fuels shutdown Why well-intentioned reassurance or advice can feel invasive How to support someone without abandoning yourself The difference between healthy space and harmful disconnection You’ll also learn six grounded steps for responding when someone shuts you out, including how to set timelines, communicate needs clearly, and create middle ground that works for both people. Key Takeaways Avoidant shutdown is usually about self-protection, not rejection Pushing for immediate conversation often increases withdrawal Asking thoughtful questions is more effective than giving advice Reassurance and timelines reduce anxiety without violating boundaries Communicating needs clearly prevents misinterpretation and resentment Healthy relationships require honoring both people’s nervous systems Timestamps 01:44 – Why “Everything’s Fine” Rarely Means Everything’s Fine 03:23 – The 6-Step Framework for Handling Avoidant Shutdown 07:59 – Why Avoidants Need Time to Process Emotions 12:30 – How to Support Without Taking Over 16:16 – Understanding Different Processing Styles 19:32 – Is It Okay to Go to Bed Without Resolving Conflict? 24:37 – When to Set a Boundary in Romantic Relationships 27:00 – Using Timelines to Reduce Anxiety and Avoidance 29:03 – Why Clear Communication Prevents Catastrophizing 31:04 – How Silence Affects Anxious Partners 33:06 – How to Express Needs Without Blame 35:26 – The Fear Behind Stonewalling 38:03 – Why Communicating Needs Is Part of Healing 40:17 – Rethinking Conflict as a Path to Connection 42:05 – Honoring Needs Without Over-Sacrificing Yourself 45:05 – Final Reflections on Safety, Space, and Communication About the Hosts Thais Gibson is the founder of Personal Development School and the creator of Integrated Attachment Theory, a neuroscience-based approach to rewiring attachment patterns through neuroplasticity. Mike DiZio brings personal insight from his own journey healing Dismissive Avoidant attachment, offering real-world perspective on what shutdown feels like from the inside. Together, they translate complex attachment dynamics into compassionate, actionable guidance. Helpful Resources: 🧠 Take the Free Attachment Style Quiz https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/?utm_source=youtube&utm_campaign=attachment-quiz&utm_medium=organic&el=youtube 📚 Read the Learning Love Book https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/learning-love?utm_source=youtube&utm_campaign=learning-love&utm_medium=organic&el=youtube 🎧 Discover Podcast Episodes https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/podcast?page=1 📝 Read the PDS Blog https://blog.personaldevelopmentschool.com/ Let’s Connect on Socials: 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thaisgibson 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thepersonaldevelopmentschool/