Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Jillian, a woman whose father struggled with mental health issues. Feeling stuck? BetterHelp makes therapy simple, with 10% off your first month to help you get started: https://betterhelp.com/softwhiteunderbelly (Sponsored by BetterHelp). For ad-free, uncensored videos and plenty of exclusive content please subscribe to the Soft White Underbelly subscription channel at https://softwhiteunderbelly.com. It's $10 a month and watchable on Apple and Android mobile apps, Roku TV, Apple TV and Amazon Fire. Here's how to purchase the Soft White Underbelly books and merch: https://softwhiteunderbelly.org. 0:00 – A Love That Couldn't Save Him 0:31 – A Kansas Childhood Hiding Wounds 1:36 – Heroin, Heartbreak, and a Mother's Last Chance 3:03 – A Basement, A Stepmother, and the Things She Said 4:26 – The Foster Girls and Lost Innocence 5:04 – [Ad] When You Need Help: BetterHelp 6:06 – Protecting Her Brother, Losing Herself 7:18 – Locked Doors, Silent Pain 8:34 – The Call That Changed Everything 9:11 – Apologies on Voicemail 10:28 – Saying "I Love You" to an Addict 11:42 – Presenting Joy, Hiding Scars 13:04 – Running to San Diego 13:56 – Secrets, Scars, and a Hospital Visit 14:43 – A Scar, a Psych Ward, and a Vomit Bag 16:03 – Guilt, Boundaries, and Becoming a Mother 18:35 – The Grandpa Who Fell Asleep in Church 20:15 – The Final Haircut 21:08 – "I'm Getting Clean" 22:19 – The Voicemail She Dreaded 23:09 – Telling Her Grandpa His Son Died 24:04 – The Apartment, the Blood, and the Missing Pieces 25:28 – Identifying Her Father's Body 26:43 – Shame, Stigma, and the Question Nobody Should Ask 27:14 – Sickness Isn't Evil 28:05 – Breaking Down to Rebuild 29:01 – Two Years Sober and a Pen in Her Hand 30:09 – The Stigma That Silences 31:25 – Empowering Through the Messy Middle 32:21 – Her Brother's Version 33:59 – Rewiring a Life 35:02 – Ending the Cycle #AddictionRecovery #ChildhoodTrauma #MentalHealthAwareness #SuicideLoss #SoftWhiteUnderbelly #BreakingTheCycle #GriefJourney #HeroinAddiction #FamilyTrauma #SurvivorStory #GenerationalTrauma #HealingIsMessy #EmotionalAbuse #SelfHarmRecovery #YouAreNotAlone #swu #MarkLaita #Documentary