Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Buddy Nielsen, singer for rock band, Senses Fail. 0:00 Music, Childhood and the Need to Be Seen 4:10 Growing Up With Famous Soap Opera Parents 7:58 How 9/11 Changed the Direction of His Life 12:15 Conditional Love, an Absent Father and the Mother Wound 18:44 Turning Childhood Trauma Into Art and Healing 22:42 Pills, Alcohol and His Grandfather’s Drunk Driving 30:31 Breaking Generational Trauma for His Children 33:03 Self-Hatred and the Inability to Accept Love 37:12 The Concert That Inspired His Music Career 39:25 Musical Influences, Dark Lyrics and Feeling Understood 43:06 Senses Fail Fans, Fame and the Search for Connection 47:37 Finding Safety Through Marriage and Fatherhood 50:13 Childhood Sexuality, AOL and Early Online Exploitation 57:33 Coming Out as Queer and His Father’s Reaction 1:00:34 How Coming Out Affected Senses Fail and His Career 1:09:17 Leaving the Band and Working at a Donut Shop 1:10:04 Healing Trauma and Growing Older 1:12:34 Depression, S*icidal Thoughts and the Will to Survive 1:17:31 How Music Unlocks Childhood Memories 1:21:27 Finding Happiness Through His Children 1:22:51 Queer Identity, Monogamy and His Marriage 1:27:29 Catholicism, Buddhism and Spirituality 1:29:35 Self-Harm, Regret and Personal Responsibility 1:31:45 The Most Important Lesson He Has Learned 1:33:05 New Senses Fail Music and Emotional Hardcore For full-length, ad-free and uncensored videos please subscribe to the Soft White Underbelly subscription channel at softwhiteunderbelly.com. It's $10 a month and watchable on Apple and Android mobile apps, Roku TV, Apple TV and Amazon Fire. Here's how to purchase the Soft White Underbelly books and merch: https://softwhiteunderbelly.org #swu #softwhiteunderbelly #documentary #singer #rockband #marklaita #music #musician