Ready to begin or deepen your meditation practice? Join Dan Harris and world-class meditation teachers on the 10% with Dan Harris app here: https://app.danharris.com/membership --- Most of us were never taught even the basics of how to be in a relationship — romantic, professional, or otherwise. We just muddle through. The research suggests we can do a lot better. Shankar Vedantam is the host and founder of the Hidden Brain podcast and the author of several books including *The Hidden Brain* and *Useful Delusions*. He recently ran a series on his show called Love 2.0, diving into the latest psychological research on relationships. In this conversation, Shankar shares: - Why trying to change your partner's personality is a form of self-inflicted suffering — and what acceptance actually looks like in practice - The porcupine and the turtle: the most common conflict pattern in long-term relationships - How to give your recurring conflict a name and turn it into something you fight together, not something you fight about - "Eating the blame" — the counterintuitive practice of taking responsibility even when you don't think it's your fault - How to get under the hood of an irritating habit and find the understandable reason beneath it - The three lists to make after any breakup — and why closure is a solo project, not a joint one - Why the stories we tell about our failures determine whether we recover from them - The surprising power of micro-interactions with strangers — and what we lose when we stop having them --- Subscribe to watch more 10% Happier videos: https://www.youtube.com/tenpercenthappier Follow Dan Harris on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/danharris/ https://www.tiktok.com/@danbharris https://www.facebook.com/DanHarrisABC https://twitter.com/danbharris https://www.linkedin.com/in/dan-harris-91ba5716b/ --- --- #relationships #psychology #mentalhealth --- This episode is sponsored by: **Northwest Registered Agent** — LLC formation, registered agent service, and free business resources at https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/Happier-free **Arey** — Clinically proven to slow gray hair growth and support re-pigmentation. Get 15% off with code HAPPIER at https://www.arey.com **Function Health** — 160+ lab tests per year to understand what's happening inside your body. Join using code HAPPIER25 for a $25 credit at https://www.functionhealth.com/happier **Warby Parker** — Prescription glasses, contacts, and sunglasses with virtual try-on. Get 15% off two or more pairs at https://www.warbyparker.com/happier