Jess Zakira Wise knew she wanted to experiment with group sex, but as she got into the scene she struggled to find a sex party where she felt comfortable. She kept finding spaces that were male-dominated and heteronormative, things she was trying to escape from. So, Jess started to organize her own parties. This week on “Modern Love,” Wise explains what makes a great sex party, and why it’s often more about communication, curiosity and respect for one’s own desires than anything else. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay (https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-submit-a-modern-love-essay.html) .  Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story (https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/style/modern-love-tiny-love-stories.html?pgtype=Article&action=click&module=RelatedLinks) . Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts (http://nytimes.com/podcasts) or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here (https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher) . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app (https://nytimes.com/app) . Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts (http://nytimes.com/podcasts) or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here (https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher) . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app (https://nytimes.com/app) . Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts (http://nytimes.com/podcasts) or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Amazon Music. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here (https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher) . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app (https://nytimes.com/app) .