Ready to begin or deepen your meditation practice? Join Dan Harris and world-class meditation teachers on the 10% with Dan Harris app here: https://app.danharris.com/membership We're bringing back a conversation that has stayed on Dan's mind more than almost any other episode from the archives. Today's guest argues, essentially, that the deep-wired belief that you will finally relax once you get to the end of your to-do list is a lie. His antidote is a concept he calls "imperfectionism" — and it turns out to be much more liberating and much more empowering than it sounds. Note: this episode originally aired April 2024. Oliver Burkeman is a British journalist and the author of two extraordinary books that have genuinely changed how a lot of us think about time — Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, and the book we're focused on today, Meditations for Mortals. His earlier book The Antidote is also a favorite. He also teaches courses on Sam Harris's Waking Up app. In this episode: – What "imperfectionism" actually is (and why it isn't about lowering your standards) – The biggest lie most of us tell ourselves: that we will finally get our sh*t together and THEN relax – What opened up for Oliver when he stopped waiting for that mythical moment – Week 1, Day 1: "It's worse than you think" — and why that's actually good news – Imposter syndrome — everybody's winging it, some are just more confident in their facade – Kayaks vs. superyachts — the metaphor for two ways of thinking about your life – Why small imperfect actions beat perfect plans every time – You can't care about everything — and shouldn't feel guilty about it – Decision Hunting — go looking for choices to make (they don't just come along) – Ellen Langer: don't make the right decision — make whatever decision you make right – Finish things — and why overcommitment may be a low-grade denial of your mortality – Joseph Goldstein's "lineage of thieves" (with Dan's habitual side-tribute) – Rules that serve life — the case for "daily-ish" as a real form of discipline – Develop a taste for problems (the problems ARE the job) – Why the frictionless modern world may be quietly making everyone more anxious – What if this were easy? — Dan tells his own business school story – Allow other people their problems — the deep politics of people-pleasing – Sheldon Kopp: "You're free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences." – The Boogie Nights joke Dan has weaponized around the house for years – Brené Brown: "I can't fix it, but I can sit in the dark with you" – "C'est fait par du monde" — the Québécois line that reframes everything – What matters? — plus the James Hollis question that actually helps – The paradox of mattering immensely and not at all — the rabbi's two slips of paper Subscribe to watch more 10% Happier videos: https://www.youtube.com/tenpercenthappier Follow Dan Harris on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/danharris/ https://www.tiktok.com/@danbharris https://www.facebook.com/DanHarrisABC https://twitter.com/danbharris https://www.linkedin.com/in/dan-harris-91ba5716b/ #10PercentHappier #OliverBurkeman #MeditationsForMortals This episode is brought to you by Instant Hydration. Instant Hydration is a premium electrolyte drink mix designed to support hydration, energy, recovery, and focus — no sugar, no unnecessary additives, and made with authentic French gray sea salt naturally rich in trace minerals. Go to https://www.instanthydration.com/tenhappier and use the promo code TENHAPPIER for over 40% off your first subscription order. This episode is brought to you by Square. Square keeps rolling out new tools designed to help businesses spend less time managing the day-to-day and more time growing — AI that spots what needs your attention, new ways to help customers discover and order from your business, and tools to better manage your money. Right now, listeners can get up to $200 off Square hardware at https://square.com/go/happier.