Self-abandonment is a learned nervous system adaptation from childhood used to maintain connection, but it hinders authentic relationships in adulthood.

“So, we have the first one is called preference abandonment. You stop having opinions and every decision is about reading them first.”

She admits that she previously engaged in self-abandonment by changing her behaviors and suppressing her needs to gain validation from men.

“I feel like in the past I always was like me like making the plans. I was making the plans by myself literally. And then the person will probably take like 2 days to even tell me if they actually wanted to hang out or if they were free or whatever.”

Chronic fawning inherently leads to self-abandonment because the individual becomes hypervigilant and preoccupied with external validation to ensure safety, thereby losing touch with their own needs a

“because if I'm really preoccupied with you and hypervigilant, I'm not attuned to my own self. I don't have a sense of autonomy or agency.”