Ready to level up? 🚀 https://bit.ly/takecontrol2023 👈 Sign up for my FREE 3-part science-backed training, Take Control with Mel Robbins! It’s designed specifically to help you step back into excellence, take ACTION, and create the life you deserve 🌟 — Does this doctor have the health secret you’ve been looking for? Does people-pleasing really make you sick? Dr. Neha Sangwan (@Doctorneha is an internal medicine physician, bestselling author, and accomplished researcher. Today, Mel sits down with Dr. Sangwan to learn the truth about people-pleasing. Topics discussed include: People-pleasing: what it is Are you a “yes” person? The difference between “going with the flow” and people pleasing Why avoiding conflict makes you a people-pleaser What your “childhood blueprint” is and how it shapes adulthood People pleasing and the link to illness What your parents did or said to turn you into a people-pleaser Why people-pleasing is a coping mechanism Why you can’t deal with other people’s discomfort How to trace your people pleasing back to a single moment in time Why being stressed, irritated, and tired is a sign that you are a people-pleaser Why being a control freak may be a sign of people pleasing How to unlearn people pleasing How every conflict in your life traces back to childhood trauma What happens, from a medical perspective, when you have an unresolved conflict? The secret reason you’re an overachiever How to stop your people-pleasing behavior at work and set better boundaries What it really means when you resent the people you love Why people-pleasing is a “protection tool” you learn to use in childhood The link between chronic worry and people pleasing The simple 3-part framework Dr. Sangwan uses to say “no” when you mean "no" How 80% of all illnesses are caused by stress The 5 questions you should ask yourself to understand what your body is really trying to signal to you You can purchase Dr. Sangwan’s book, ‘TalkRx: Five Steps to Honest Conversations That Create Connection, Health, and Happiness’, here: https://a.co/d/iaVNwiL Download a FREE audio chapter from ‘TalkRx: Five Steps to Honest Conversations That Create Connection, Health, and Happiness’, here: https://intuitiveintelligenceinc.com/mel/ Follow Dr. Sangwan: Instagram: instagram.com/doctorneha Webpage: intuitiveintelligenceinc.com Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast/ I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Intro 03:21 Mel’s jaw hit the floor when she heard this. 03:58 If you struggle with people-pleasing, you are not alone. 04:49 Are you a “yes” person? 06:54 People-pleasing: what is it? 09:07 What your parents did or said to turn you into a people-pleaser 11:58 What your “childhood blueprint” is and how it shapes adulthood 14:14 Why people-pleasing is a coping mechanism 15:52 Why you can’t deal with other people’s discomfort 20:32 The simple 3-part framework Dr. Sangwan uses to say “no” when you mean "no” 24:54 Is everyone on the planet a people-pleaser? 28:37 What are the 2 functions of the brain? 29:48 What it really means when you resent the people you love 33:47 When Dr. Sangwan connected her people-pleasing with overwhelm 36:08 Dr. Sangwan received this shocking diagnosis from an MD. 39:57 The secret reason you’re an overachiever 44:03 How 80% of all illness is caused by stress 45:17 The 5 questions you should ask yourself to understand what your body is really trying to signal to you 47:12 Wow, this might be the root cause of your anxiety. 50:02 How to stop your people-pleasing at work and set better boundaries #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasing #boundaries #childhoodtrauma — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah